Saturday, November 28, 2009

Heavy Metal (1981)


Heavy Metal is a 1981 animated movie based on the popular magazine of the same name. This is personally one of the best animated movies Ive ever seen, and I can imagine it being beavis and butt-head’s favorite movie too. Its got sex, drugs, violence, heavy metal, sex, violence, violence, violence. Fuck, this movie violent! Personally, I think that’s fucking great! Like the thrash band exodus says, its just friendly violent fun!

This movie is basically five or six different sequences that revolve around a green ball called the loc-nar, which is just one bad ass motherfucker. It just goes around causing death and destruction, killing anybody it comes in contact with. In the begging, we see a c ar fall from space and come into a fake looking house. The locnar kills the guy and begins telling this little girl about his exploits in terrorizing the world.

The first story is about a taxi cab driver in future New York, which is a scummy shithole, much like modern day new york. This sequence is obviously inspired by Scorses’s Taxi Driver, the main character’s narration sounds exactly like Travis’s, and other similarities can be found all over the place. it’s a fair trade though, because this movie itself directly inspired The Fifth Element. Anyway, the taxi driver finds this hot chick whos being chased by a dangerous mob boss because he wants the loc-nar, and only she knows where it is. So after fucking her, he is chased by the mob boss and kills his weak ass soldiers. At the end, he gives the loc-nar to the mob boss in exchange for money. Unfortunately, the girl becomes greedy and tries to steal it, forcing him to kill her. This is one of the better sequences in the movie because it had great action, characters, and story. The animation is almost the worst in the movie, its grainy and sloppy, but considering the age it was animated in, its perfectly acceptable.

The second sequence follows a geeky kid who is thwarted into an altwernate universe, where he is a muscley super human by the name of Den. He rescues a hot ass maiden from an evil cult of monsters who consider the loc-nar to be a god. After they have sex, they are both kidnapped by a rival cult. The leader blackmails and forces him to infiltrate the other cult’s castle to steal the loc-nar. After he is caught, he has sex with the queen of the rival kingdom, but while she is distracted, the loc-nar is stolen and all hell breaks loose, there's a huge battle with blood and death , and at the end the loc-nar kills both of the leaders and abe flys off with the hot chick.

This is probably my favorite sequence. Its got action and the adventure is cool. Den is a likeable character who says some funny stuff, he’s voiced by John Candy so that’s what you would expect. There is a lot of sex and nudity in this part, but it shouldn’t bother anybody, especially if you’re a perv like me. The animation is pretty far out, especially the lava lamb background when abe is running to battle. This sequence also has a great score. It makes the scene seem epic, which is fitting for such an adventure. Overall, this one of the best sequences in the movie.

Next, we’re introduced to Captain Stern, who is on trial for every crime imaginable. He pays off this timid guy named Hanover Fist to testify in his favor. Hanover begins playing with the loc-nar, which I guess has shape shifted into the size of a marble. Anyway, Hanover turns into a giant monster and chases Sternn out of the courtroom and around a spaceship. After cornering stern, Hanover returns to his original size and is payed off for his help in getting sternn to freedom, but Sternn kills Hanover anyway.

This sequence doesn’t really make any sense. I don’t think the Loc-Nar does anything at all, it really serves no purpose. Hanover was going to shape-shift anyway, and Sternn was going to kill Hanover anyway, so what did the Loc-Nar do exactly? Maybe it allowed Sternn to escape? I don’t really know, maybe they just wanted to include this story because it was a popular comic in the magazine. It has cartoon-like animation, and doesn’t have any sex or violence like all the other sequences. Its strange, but fun.

The Loc-Nar then travels back in time to world war 2, and finds its way aboard a B-17 bomber that has just been ravaged by a battle. When a pilot goes to the back of the plane to survey the damage, he finds the soldiers that were killed have turned into flesh eating zombies. He is brutally killed and the remaining pilot crasdh lands on a desert island, which, unfortunately for his, is crawling with the same zombies. This is the scariest sequence by far. The animation is dark and frightening, its fitting for such a horrifying story. The zombies are fucking scary and the violence is gory and realistic. This is a shot and sweet taste of the brutal power of the loc-nar.
The next sequence is another cartoon like animation. Its about a space-ship that captures a jewish typewriter who wears the loc-nar around her neck. There is a robot voiced by John Candy, and two stoner aliens, who are basically Cheech And Chong. While the robot fucks the typewriter, Cheech and Chong snort a shit load of cocaine, then go on an acid trip, before crashing into a giant space station. This sequence is more comical then anything else, basically the exact opposite of B-17 bomber. Theres some pretty kickass songs in this part, like Sammy Hagar’s Heavy Metal. I also have no clue what the loc-nar’s role in this was, nothing bad happened, another case of them including a popular comic into the movie.

The final sequence is the most famous and longest of the movie. It’s called Taarna and is about an elite warrior seeking revenge on an army of mutats who killed an entire city of people. The large army of citizens were transformed into evil mutants when the loc-nar landed on the planet . They go insane and destroy a huge city of weaklings.

This is one of my favorite scenes in the movie, its bloody and violent, and the Black Sabbath song in the background makes it truly intense. The leaders of the city sumon Taarna before they are killed. I don’t think this makes very much sense. Why wouldn’t the city have an army, or atleast guards or weapons? Apparently, their sole defence is an extinct group of warriors. Yeah, that’s a great plan. Anyway, the next shot is of Taarna flying on her giant bird and going to claim her sword and skimpy armor. This scene is pretty long and drawn out, looks like shes taking her sweet time getting naked, swimming in a pool, then slowly getting dressed. Meanwhile, the city she’s supposed to be defending is getting ass-raped by the mutants. After finding the city in ruins, she finds the enemy base, where she is quickly captured and thrown into a pit. When she escapes, she has a final battle with the leader of the mutants, who has a chainsaw for a hand. After a bloody battle scene, Taarna beats the shit outta the guy and crushes his face in. In the end, she sacrifices herself to destroy the loc-nar. This scene has some great animation and great story. Taarna doesn’t say anything the whole time, but still we feel sympathetic to her and root for her to defeat the evil mutants to avenge the innocent city they destroyed.

The movie cuts back to the little girl in the house, where the Loc-Nar is destroyed. The girl escapes just before the house blows up, which looks like they ran out of time and had to blow up a model of a house instead of animating one. I dotn understand why the Loc-nar blew up right then and there either. Are there multiple loc-nars, and the one taarna destroyed was the mother loc nar? Oh well, anyway, the girl flies away at the and because shes the same race as Taarna.

This movie is a fucking trip. Its got everything a teenage boy could want, plus more. Theres everything from comical cartoons, to horrible scenes of violence. There are some inconsistencies and minor complaints, but overall I really like this movie, and recommend it to any fan of sci-fi, horror, animation, adventure, and heavy metal. Overall Id give this movie an 8.5 out of 10.0
Heavy Metal 2000 followed almost twenty years later, and although its inferior in many ways, I still enjoyed it. Im also looking forward to the new Heavy Metal movie ive been hearing about.

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