Sunday, June 10, 2012

Fueled By Fire: Spread the Fire (2006)

The Spinal Tap of Thrash Metal
Rating: 45%

After becoming a huge fan of Municipal Waste, Toxic Holocaust, and Merciless Death, I decided to look for more of these 'retro-thrash' bands, since they seemed pretty good. First I found Violator (amazing), then I found Evile (awesome), then, well, then I found Fueled By Fire. I had been hearing things for a while about this band, most notably in the liner notes to Merciless Death's Evil In The Night Cd. I decided to check em' out after I found Spread The Fire at a used record store for $3.99.  I was reluctant though, looking at the tracks I noticed the first song was called "Ernest goes to Hell". Ernest Goes To Hell? What the fuck is that? Is that supposed to be funny? The only thing that made me laugh was that every member of this band looks like a talentless Chuck Billy!

The rules say not to make fun of a bands image, but seriously, this band takes it WAAAYYY overboard. Their cover depicts a thrasher choking an emo kid. Okay, thats pretty cool. Also on the cover is a sticker proclaiming "THE RETURN OF OLD SCHOOL THRASH!!!!". Ummm, okay Im aware this is a thrash metal record, thank you very much. Then there are an over-abundance of lyics in the vein of "The Return Of Thrash". It gets extremely ridiculous looking at the band members posing on the inside cover. Almost as if this band is trying to convince the listener that they're thrash metal by saying it over and over and over and over. Theres an Aerosmith song I think these guys should hear, its called "Let The Music Do The Talking"

Now to the actual music itself. Its really not too bad. Pretty generic riffs, mid-paced, campy lyrics, un-inspired blandness. Actually, this is really bad. Not one track stands out. The only ones I can remember is 'Ernest' and 'Thrash is Back', only because they were insanely stupid and lame.

All in all, FBF are one of the leaders of the retro-thrash movement (yes, its a fucking MOVEMENT!), but its surprising considering there are much better bands in the genre.  Just looking at FBF, its no reason why people dont take retro-thrash seriously. Theyre posers, plain and simple. They take the image, the lyrics, and the music into new heights of heavy metal mediocracy. FBF have no power, nothing that makes them stand out from a crowd, and leaves the listener with a bad tase in their mouths, like theyve just listened to 45 minutes of a new spinal Tap album, only its more depressing then funny.

I want my $3.99 back.

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